Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
