i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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