i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
