ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
