I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
