just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I could fuck to npr.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
