I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
either way he was missing a nipple.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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