A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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