we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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