I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
