redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
