so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
