I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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