Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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