we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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