so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
