That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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