What did we do last night that was yellow?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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