how can u be prego again
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
