You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
