Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
