i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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