A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
