guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We need to rekindle our bromance
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize