i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
