im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
