I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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