Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
