I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
