we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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