I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
