I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
