you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
