just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm really busy with my period
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