girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
