i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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