opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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