Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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