We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
