dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
