I want to make a zoo with you.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Randomize
