College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
