Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
