I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
