her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
