i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
