he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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