We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
