She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize