Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
