her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
