I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
