yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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