Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
