the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize