I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
