idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
