i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
