So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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