Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
