Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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