no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
