I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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