Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
