can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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